Food Guilt got you down? Find Freedom from the Shame!
December 22, 2020 - Episode #47 - Food Guilt got you down? Find Freedom from the Shame!
If you are like EVERYONE else, you have probably been doing some indulging this holiday season. I know I certainly have. And you are probably feeling a little guilty right about now. Because truth be told, it’s not just the holiday season that have been indulgent, it’s the entire horrific year! So how do we move forward? How do we move from this pattern of emotional eating and the guilt and the shame to to resilience?? If food guilt has got you down and you are looking for FREEDOM from the shame, stay tuned. This topic is just for you, today on Healthy Harmony!
It’s been such a terrible year. Truly awful. And just the holiday season looks so very different than we ever thought possible. So how do we recover? How do we make a comeback? I want to prepare you for RESILIENCE!!
I want you to mark a date on your calendar. I'm doing a FREE masterclass on Tuesday, January 5th at 7pm. Resilience - The Food Freedom Masterclass is for you if you are done with feeling guilty and ashamed, if you are sick and tired of funky, restrictive diets and if you are depressed because every time you lose weight you only regain it. Ready to live in FREEDOM and feel better?
Don’t miss this FREE Masterclass. Go to bit.ly/masterclassfoodfreedom provide your email and I’ll send you the Zoom link and your class notes.
Here is the link that I promised during this episode....
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December 22, 2020 - Episode #47 - Food Guilt got you down? Find Freedom from the Shame!
If you're like everyone else. You have probably been doing some indulging this holiday season. I know. I certainly have. And you are probably feeling a little guilty right about now because truth be told it's not just the holiday season that you've been indulgent. It's the entire horrific year. So how do we move forward? How do we move from this pattern of emotional eating and the guilt and the shame that goes with it to resilience. If food guilt has got you down and you're looking for freedom from shame, stay tuned. This topic is just for you today on Healthy Harmony.
Welcome to the Healthy Harmony podcast. I'm Jennifer Pickett, your host, your health coach, your friend. If you're ready to tap into the healthiest version of you. So you can live life with confidence and intentional harmony. Then my friend you're in the right place as a Dietitian turned Functional Medicine Health Coach. I'm here to walk beside you and show you how to take control of your complete health body mind and soul.
It's been such a terrible year, truly awful. And just the holiday season looks so very different than we ever thought possible. So how do we recover? How do we make a comeback? I want to prepare you. I want to prepare you for resilience. So I want you to Mark a date on your calendar. I'm doing a free masterclass on Tuesday, January the fifth at 7:00 PM. Resilience. The food freedom masterclass is for you. If you're done with feeling guilty and ashamed, if you're sick and tired of funky restricted diets, and if you are depressed, because every time you lose weight, you only regain it. If you're ready for freedom and to feel better, this class is for you. So don't miss this free masterclass. Here's how you can enroll go to bit.ly/masterclassfoodfreedom. Again, that's Bitly forward slash masterclass food freedom provide your email and I will send you the zoom link and your class notes right away. And of course that link that Bitly masterclass food freedom. I will send that and I will link that in the show notes so you can access it real easy.
We are just three days away from Christmas. There has definitely been some indulging and emotional eating going on, especially this year. We're trying to cope. That's why today's topic is so important. And let me tell you if getting healthy with simply a matter of calories in versus calories out, if it was just about getting more exercise and following a list of eat this, don't eat that then man, this would actually be a lot more simple and straightforward, but it's not straightforward. There's so many other factors at play. If we're striving for intentional harmony across our physical health, mental and emotional health and spiritual health, then we must absolutely must look at our emotions and our relationship with food. So if food guilt has got you down, I want you to find freedom from the shame. You know, we have a certain mindset with regard to food and what's quote unquote healthy.
You know, oftentimes we label foods as good and bad. And we, we we assign traits to foods that they really shouldn't have as like some foods are evil. And, and then we find that when we've indulged in those bad foods, we have this guilt and this shame that goes along with it. So this certainly is at play. When we embark on a certain quote unquote diet, and it's very, very restricted and we avoid certain foods at all cost. And then we feel like a failure when we cave and we eat something on the no-no list. I'm going to tell you, I use a anti diet approach. Yes, I'm a Dietitian. I hate even using the word Dietitian because I'm that anti diet. I use an anti diet approach because I want, and I want my clients to live in food Freedom. That's what it's all about.
It's about freedom. So I don't focus on the things that I can't have. I don't have my clients focus on this list of bad foods. They have to avoid. We focus addition versus subtraction. What can you add in how can you truly nourish your body and give it what it needs not? Oh my goodness. I can never have this certain food again. Now. It's always interesting. And I've shared with you before. There are so many misconceptions when people come to me. So most people think they're going to be given a very, very strict diet, something that's very unrealistic for their life. They're pleasantly surprised that they're not given a strict diet. They also expect that I'm going to make them feel very, very guilty and ashamed for how they treated their health. Let me just tell you something, everyone that comes to me, they feel guilty and ashamed enough.
They don't need anybody else piling on the guilt and the shame. And I have seen how detrimental hanging on to that guilt and that shame is, and that's why we need to address this because it is so very, very harmful. So the first thing I want to kind of put on your radar as we unpack this is, you know, when you're beating yourself up and you're feeling guilty, first of all, that's going to really impede your efforts to get healthy. No matter what that health goal is, whether it's getting some more energy or getting leaner and in shape or it's losing weight, it doesn't matter what the health goal is. But if you're constantly beating yourself up, you're really going to impede those efforts. Also, you have to keep in mind, guilt can really sap your mood and your motivation. It truly affects you because it affects that psyche, that internal dialogue, and it affects your mental and emotional health.
And by the way, we have a hard time separating those, right? The physical health from the mental and the emotional health. And I have found that when somebody is bogged down in the guilt and the shame they can't move forward, it's a huge obstacle. So I don't want you to feel stuck. I want you to move ahead with freedom and resilience. So are you ready? Are you ready to find freedom from the shame? I've got five tips for you today, and I'm going to do these really fast. So here we go.
Number one, show yourself some grace. Okay. You can't go back no matter who you are. You've heard me say it before. You cannot hit rewind. You cannot go back to last week, last month, last year. So show yourself some grace. Do you need to forgive yourself and show yourself some grace? Yes, you can't hit rewind.
Anyway. It's not going to help you. And remember, as we're looking at this big picture, your worth is not defined by a number on that scale or by a number that happens to be written on the clothing tag that you're wearing. Your number is not defined. That number does not define you. You're not defined by that number. Happiness is not tied to size. So show yourself some grace so you can move forward.
Number two, probably the most important one, explore your relationship with food. Is it a healthy relationship or are you completely controlled and obsessed with food? We don't want to be controlled by food. Food is something to be enjoyed. It nourishes our body. It gives our body fuel. It gives our body information. Food is literally medicine for the body. It can be very healing and restorative, but we don't need to be controlled by food.
So a really brief story, one of my clients and I'm gonna, I'll call her, let's see, I'll call her Katie. One of my clients, Katie, I'm using a fake name because this is a sensitive subject. One of my clients, Katie. What we discovered in our, in our coaching together is that she really had this kind of obsession with food. She was being controlled by food, and it didn't matter if she was in a period of time or she was trying to be very focused and very healthy. And she was on diets or if she was being more indulgent, no matter what, because of a lot of the trauma that she had gone through in her past, and the trauma was significant. She was controlled and dominated by food. So the most amazing process and the most amazing thing happened as we really started digging in and addressing her relationship with food.
So it was so exciting to see, after a few months of us working together, when she said, I no longer feel like I'm controlled by food, like that was a success. It wasn't a number on this scale. It wasn't a certain size. It wasn't that she had adhered to some funky diet. It was that she said, I no longer feel controlled by food y'all it was just absolutely amazing. I want you to see that the obsession with food isn't healthy. So there's, there's a topic here and it's a topic we'll address on future podcasts. It's intuitive eating and intuitive. Eating is really listening to your body and giving your body what it truly needs. It's so very, very important. And of course, intuitive eating plays right alongside with mindfulness. And you've heard me talk about that on so many different podcasts. Now, again, a really want to encourage you to enroll in that free masterclass resilience, the food freedom masterclass, again, to enroll in that class, get the zoom link and the class notes go to Bitly B I T dot L Y forward slash masterclass food freedom.
Again, that's linked in the show notes, but that is how you enroll in that class. And we're going to spend an entire hour together, just unpacking our relationship with food and how to move beyond this diet restrictive mentality. You're gonna love it.
Let's move on to number three, face your feelings. Oh Lord have mercy. We've got to face our feelings, explore them and get some help. The problem is that so often it's not about the food itself. It's about our feelings and are we using our feelings and emotions to allow that, to dictate what we eat? Are we numbing the pain with food. Are we trying to cope with the stress and everything going on, all the grief with food? So again, I want to reference a past podcast here, a stress podcast that I did and how to cope with stress. That's very important. So I will link that in the show notes, but it's so important for you to face your feelings, address those feelings and work through that. Instead of just trying to numb those feelings with food.
Number four, address your own expectations. What kind of expectations have you put on yourself? What kind of expectations are in your mind about your self, your food, your body. So we've got to deal with those expectations. Are they completely unrealistic? How much pressure are you putting on yourself? These standards or expectations you have? Does it even make sense? Is it realistic for you? You may have such ridiculous expectations in your head that there is no way. And I mean no way, sister, that you can live up to that. And then what happens is that when you don't live up to those unrealistic expectations, it makes you feel like a failure.
And then you're burdened with all the guilt and all the shame that comes along with that. So for me, this is a really big one with me. And I had seen that I get stuck in that comparison trap when not compare myself to other health coaches and Lord have mercy. I never add up. I never measure up to what I see out there, this ridiculous standard. And then I place ridiculous, unrealistic expectations on myself, and it really truly affects me. And so I've got to stop comparing and set realistic expectations for myself. I'm 46 years old. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to have the body of a 26 year old. It's not happening. I've got two kids. So I've got to get some realistic expectations and then celebrate myself with some wins along the way. So be sure and address your own expectations.
Number five, talk to yourself nicely. Again, nicely. What do you say when you talk to yourself? You know, no wonder we're bogged down by guilt and shame and failure. We're constantly reminding ourselves of our failure and we're focused on what we did wrong. There's a very, very powerful mind body connection. The body achieves what the mind believes. Have you heard that expression? The body achieves what the mind believes. So now we're really starting to uncover how powerful that connection is between our mind and our body. And so we need to look at our mindset and what we're saying to ourselves, mamas, listen to me loud and clear. You are saying some awful stuff to yourselves. And I want you to ask yourself if what I'm saying to myself, what ever say that to my child, we call ourselves words like fat. You're so fat. You're so out of shape, I knew you would fail at this diet.
You always fail. You can't do this. We say some nasty things about ourselves, things that we would never, ever as a mom say to our child. So I want you to catch those thoughts. We've got to rewire the brain. The way we do that is we change those thought patterns. And we do that by saying positive affirmations. I can do this. I'm proud of myself. I am resilient. That is my new affirmation. Okay. I am resilient. And we celebrate those small wins. Even when that small win is as easy as you know what I drank more water today than I did yesterday, we celebrate the small wins. We give ourselves a little Pat on the back for just surviving a crazy season. So guys, those are the five tips to find freedom from the shame. So just to give you a short recap.
Number one, show yourself some grace.
Number two, explore your relationship with food.
Number three, face your failings.
Number four, address your own expectations and
Number five. Talk to yourself nicely.
So guys, I hope that you found some encouragement and some empowerment today. Remember to be kind to yourself. We will always fall down. We will always get off track. What's important is what happens afterwards. Can you get back up? So I want to encourage you today, get back up, dust yourself off and let's keep going. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope you have found this both encouraging and empowering, and by the way, if you're loving these podcasts, if it's helpful for you, will you please do me a big favor, a Christmas favor and write a five-star review. I would really, really appreciate it. And while you're there, please be sure and subscribe. I don't want you to miss anything cause there's a lot of great stuff coming in January. And I promise you, this is going to be like a breath of fresh air when it comes to anything that you've heard before, when it comes to health and wellness, I think you're going to love it. So I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and get to experience some peace and some joy, even in the middle of all the difference. I'll see you next week. Bye y'all.