Wife and mom are my two most important titles. I’m a Dietitian by training and like to call myself a Battle Strategist because I firmly believe that we are all warriors! I want us to be empowered warriors with the good energy and health needed to fight our daily battles. We can do this Warrior Moms! We have an important job to do!
Back to Blog
Thinking back to the days when I was driving to Dallas frequently to be by my friend’s side. Manda Maxwell was going through the toughest cancer journey. The doctor visits, chemo infusions, radiation treatments and hospital stays. I was by her side. As her cancer advocate, this is how I could use my past experience to guide her down this difficult road.
But I was truly part of a team. My role was specific cancer support. There were other needs as well. Manda’s friends formed a Fight Club. These friends met very practical needs.
That’s what we will be chatting about today! Last week, we covered
“what to say when your friend has cancer.” This week, we will cover “what to do when you friend has cancer.”
It is a question that I get often….”My friend has cancer, what can I do to help?” Most of us want to do something but we don’t know what to do.
Let me start by telling you that there are many specific needs and many ways for you to be supportive. I’ll tell you some wonderful advice that I was given years ago by a chaplain who was training our cancer ministry team. He stated to NEVER say…..”If there is anything I can do to help, let me know!” He explained that this vague statement was never helpful and most people would never reach out with what they needed. So I will remind you that if you want to help, it is always better to reach out with very specific examples. Remember that your friend is dealing with a state of overwhelm with this diagnosis!!
Here are some guidelines to keep in mind while offering help……..
Going back to my experience with Manda Maxwell, I was so very impressed with how her friends banded together and formed a Fight Club to help with all of her practical and specific needs. Shay, Karla, Sheaffer, Erika, Andrea, Narci, Jeni, Lisa, Meagan and Lori took beautiful care of their friend!!! Here is a highlight list of how they provided specific support…….
As stated, this is just the highlights of what Manda’s Fight Club did for her. Just the highlights!! Her Fight Club communicated with each other over group text to stay organized. They were able to do all this because it wasn’t one person. It was a group!! A group of friends who cared and loved well!! They took care of practical and specific needs for a long time. I always loved hearing Manda talk about her Fight Club.
This beautiful picture breaks me down every time I see it. It is Manda’s Fight Club at her funeral.
The needs are many and the list is long. It is too much for one person to take care of everything for their friend who is facing a cancer journey. However, when a team, a fight club is formed. That makes a difference! There is power in numbers! We all have different gifts, talents and abilities. Can I encourage you to form a Fight Club for your friend?? It is an amazing means of support and a great way to extend our circle of friends while meeting the practical and specific needs of our mutual friend.
So now we have talked about what to say and what to do for our friends that have cancer. I’ve been asked by a reader to write about how to pray for a friend facing a cancer journey. So stay tuned next week for that. Until then, let’s keep loving and encouraging each other well!